Al Harkan












From Mars with Love

So, the other day I had an ‘assignment’ to read this quite popular book called “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus”. It was a re-read, actually, since I’ve done reading it about two years ago but had to read it again – just because I learned nothing back at the time. The book talks about how I, a man, am profoundly different from women. From our values that are inherently different, the way we cope with stress, to how we express ideas differently. It tends to start a fight between two whenever either one of them insists the other to accept them based on their own perspective.


I ended up enjoying this tale of which the writer used to simplify how men and women are different on many things and tend to fight each other. (Judge me, but in this my early twenties I really need to understand my school subjects, but also you girls. Haha) John Gray, the writer, uses a fictional story telling that men are Martians and women are Venusians who understand and accept each other differences and came to earth after they fell in love. But one day they forgot everything about where they came from, thus creating cases of fighting each other because they force their own traits to each other. And unfortunately, it lasts to this day; just count how many divorce cases happen every day, and how many times you have broken up with your ex(es) (?)


And funny thing is, I relate more to the Venusians’ IDs rather than Martians’ based on the writer’s explanations, idk, recalling how I usually position myself. Despite the over-generalization of men and women in some parts, I’m sorry, the book is quite useful to practically prevent a fight before it even happens. You may not relate to one side of Martians or Venusians description in the book, but you can learn to prevent a fight to start by simply remembering that your partner is an ‘alien’ from outside your planet. But you really like that alien, so you will not insist your earthly (or mars) wills to an alien, right? You will think, hold a second, inhale, try to understand their point of view, and exhale, before blindly react to what they did.


If I could freely summarize this book, it would be something like: “how to stop a fight with your partner: (1) remember they are alien, (2) breathe, (3) follow their way before you ask anything back”. And if you’re not alone now, co-living with your Martian or Venusian, just remember that you are an earthling from another planet, who fell in love with another alien.


And in my case, I’m just a Martian with love. Not funny.

Cover photo by me